I remember,

I remember the first time I sputtered, "I Love You"

I remember when holding your hand meant something

I remember a long embrace was never enough

I remember my hunger, thirst, and lust

I remember, do you?

Now,

Now "Love you" has no meaning

Now holding your hand feels deromanticized

Now a short embrace is never short enough

Now my hunger, thirst, and lust are no more

Now, how about you?

Reach for the Stars

There are few people in this world who achieve what they set out to without interference or loss of site. The rest of us, those not so lucky, perpetually forget our motivations in life. We lose site of who we want to be and what we want to achieve. We often get sidetracked and run off course either incidentally, such as: a non-sensical job, a new living situation, consumption of a relationship, medical injuries, or most probably bills accumulations. If not incidentally, then we purposefully sabotage our own dreams in life. Meaning, we push our goals aside thinking they'll never be reached, and in turn wind up lowering our standards.
I'm not sure if we give up out of sheer laziness or subtle realization that they were never attainable in the first place. Regardless of the reason, id like to be an exception to this. I'd like to one day set a new goal for myself knowing I already accomplished my biggest one yet.
My advice: never stop believing in yourself...because once you stop who else going believe in you? I like to think that if I submerge myself in the atmosphere, the mind-set, and the ambitions of someone who's already reached the star I'm aiming for I'll get there just like they did.

The Blinding Truth

Depression is a difficult concept for people to grasp if they've never gone through it, but for those who have understand that it eats you from the inside out. It's almost like a virus, you don't see it coming but you know if you're infected. Everything changes for the worst, your mind becomes less and less stable as the virus spreads and the world around you starts to darken.
It's as if these little mites get inside your head and feed on all your good memories, thoughts, and overall happiness. They peck out your eyes and leave you seeing black all around. After everything has been demolished your left with nothing but darkness and bad thoughts...scary thoughts, thoughts that never really crossed your mind prior to this infection.
Am I depressed? Not today. I don't think anyone can really answer that question for a future date. I know I am not depressed today, however I do not know that I won't be depressed tomorrow or the day after. Like I said, it sneaks up on you, blinds your vision, and causes you to spiral downward. You can try to overcome it but it's a battle.
I have struggled with depression more than once in my life which is not something I talk about. It's not something I want to remember but it is something I can now confront.
The first time I caught the virus it ended up taking 10 months to clear. Yes clear. I did not fight it, I let the mites feed on me until they had taken everything, moved out of my body, and on to their next victim. Each time I caught the virus I was left feeling souless and empty. I did not have the energy to laugh, the energy to cry, I feared nothing but I also felt nothing. It didn't feel like I was a living human being, it felt as if I was a lifeless, hollow body alone in the world. Even after the infection I wasn't completely recovered. I don't think you ever really can recover, repair, or mend your mind after something so dramatic. You have the ability to heal but restoring yourself back to normal seems impossible once you find out how easily your thoughts can be tempered with.
I will always remember that period of my life as one of the darkest and that is something I cannot erase. While everyone's depression affects them differently, the symptoms are all similar, however, some are infected much deeper than others in which case the virus can be fatal.
I encourage anyone who has the virus to stay strong, ask for help, and push through the darkness.

--Honoring Robin Williams